What makes someone resilient? How can you become more resilient? For MyMSTeam member Jacqui Blue, finding ways to build resilience has been key to thriving with multiple sclerosis (MS).

Drawing on her background in music and mental health, Jacqui has developed a powerful, actionable approach to facing adversity. Through acceptance, optimism, social connection, and altruism, she has found a way to thrive with MS — and she hopes to help others do the same.

Accept What You Can’t Change

Before Jacqui was diagnosed with MS, she was an opera singer and a performer who was deeply passionate about music and the stage. She later became a teaching artist, using theater to help children develop resilience. That work took on new meaning when she was diagnosed with MS, forcing her to apply the very lessons she had taught to others.

“The No. 1 thing is accepting the things you can’t change and taking responsibility for your own emotional well-being,” Jacqui said. “You can’t change having a chronic illness, unfortunately, but what you can do is shift your mindset. Mind over matter plays a bigger role in physical health than most people think.”

For Jacqui, acceptance didn’t mean giving up — it meant making space for the reality of MS while still embracing life’s possibilities.

Find the Silver Lining

Jacqui emphasizes that optimism, while difficult to find sometimes when living with a chronic condition, is a critical tool in resilience.

“Looking on the bright side, finding the silver lining — it helps with that mindset shift,” she explained. “It changes how you think about your illness, yourself, and how you approach life.”

Though optimism may come more naturally to some than others, she stressed that it’s a skill that can be cultivated. By reframing challenges and focusing on strengths, people with MS can regain a sense of control over their lives.

Talk About Your Fears

Fear is a common companion for those living with MS. It can be hard to admit what you’re afraid of, and some people may feel like they’re burdening others by sharing their fears. But Jacqui has found that facing fear head-on is one of the best ways to weaken its grip.

“With MS, we tend to have that fear — what happens if I become disabled? But talking about it helps,” she said. “Telling your story is a way to have ownership over it, so the story doesn’t own you.”

By sharing experiences with others, she has found that fears lose their power. Speaking openly about MS has allowed her to connect with others who understand, helping her remember that she’s not alone in her journey.

Stay Active — Physically and Mentally

Resilience isn’t just about mindset; it’s about action. Staying active, both physically and mentally, has been crucial in Jacqui’s MS journey. Both muscle and brainpower are valuable assets that require effort to maintain.

“You have to keep your muscle mass up, and you have to keep learning new things,” Jacqui said. “It really helps combat depression, which is pretty common with MS, especially after a diagnosis.”

Whether it’s exercise, engaging in hobbies, or continuing to educate oneself, movement of all types — both physical and intellectual — plays a significant role in improving overall well-being with MS.

Seek and Accept Social Support

One of the most important lessons Jacqui has learned is that no one should face MS alone. No matter what your circumstances or where you live, everyone has access to community. Whether through friends and family, a faith community, or an online support group like MyMSTeam, you can find people who understand and offer support.

“Studies have shown that isolation is worse for people physically than obesity, than smoking,” Jacqui pointed out. “Having people you check in with, people holding you accountable and vice versa — that’s a big, big deal.”

She encourages others to seek out support groups, stay connected with friends and family, and build a community of people who truly understand. The simple act of staying engaged with others can significantly improve health outcomes.

Find a Role Model in Resilience

Watching others who have successfully navigated hardship has been a source of strength for Jacqui. “Finding a hero or a role model who is resilient, who has bounced back and speaks positively about their experience — you wouldn’t think it’s that important, but it is,” she said.

Seeing proof that resilience is possible provides hope and inspiration, reinforcing the belief that life with MS can still be full and meaningful.

Give to Others, Even When You’re Struggling

Perhaps Jacqui’s most surprising key to resilience is altruism. By focusing on what she can give to others, rather than what MS has taken from her, she has found a powerful tool for emotional well-being.

“Altruism is important because it shifts the focus away from how bad you might be feeling,” she explained. “When you’re doing something for someone else, there’s joy that comes along with that.”

Whether it’s offering support to another person with MS, helping a family member, or volunteering in her community, Jacqui has seen firsthand how acts of kindness can ease the burden of chronic illness. While MS symptoms like fatigue may make it difficult to always show up in person, even a kind note or a timely phone call can often make a big difference in someone’s life.

Resilience in Action

Resilience isn’t about avoiding hardship — it’s about learning how to navigate it. Jacqui has built a road map for not just surviving MS but also thriving with it. And through sharing her story, she hopes to inspire others to do the same.

“You are not your diagnosis,” she said. “Your story is yours to tell, and you get to decide how you live it.”

Find Others Who Understand

On MyMSTeam, the social network for people with MS and their loved ones, more than 219,000 members come together to ask questions, give advice, and share their stories with others who understand life with MS.

What do you wish you’d known when you were first diagnosed with MS? What advice do you have for others who are newly diagnosed? Share your experience in the comments below, or start a conversation by posting on your Activities page.

Return home